Life As a Doctor !!!

As a Doctor , while on duty, everyday u see tons of patients, care for them , treat them in a best possible way. Every time u have to be very careful , not to be too emotionally attached to a patient. Because Once u get emotionally attached to a patient, and if anything happens to the patient , u kinda feel really bad. U start putting blame on yourself that u were not able to help him or her..
Once there was a young boy named Prashant who was brought to casualty, I was in my medicine posting then. The fellow had consumed insecticides, and was in a very critical stage, every one were running here and there , which by the way was a usually a normal scene during a busy night in casualty. I went to see the patient, he was really in a bad state, i checked his vitals, did some preliminary investigations, and send a SOS for my senior because it was a complicated suicidal poisoning case. He came immediately , and we started aspirating all the poison from his stomach, becoz if there is any poisons left unabsorbed from his stomach, we can reduce the poisoning.
As we were trying to revive him , he suddenly collapsed, i Looked at his pulse, cudnt get any.. So we immediately started CPR and shifted him to our Intensive Care Unit, where he was put on a ventilator , to support his breathing . So now as i was in charge of ICU, i was awake whole night monitoring him , as all my seniors went to their rooms. I thought what would have driven such a young boy to commit suicide. I feel very sad when people commit suicide, we have been gifted a life , we should make full use of it. Problems are there in every1's life , but suicide cannot justify anything..
As days passed by , he remained unconscious, there was very little voluntary activity. He just used to open his eyes a bit , see here and there . Once, again during my night duty, I was on my routine check up of all the patients in ICU. I was tired i wanted to finish all the work and have a seat. I went to prashant to check his BP, i tied the cuff around his arms, suddenly , he moved his hand, and caught hold of my hand, i was really taken aback, was shocked. I looked at him, with his eyes half open, was trying to say some something to me. But I could here nothing more than a whisper. I said " kuch samajh nai araha hai, Kaisa lag raha hai abhi?" (cant understand what you are saying, How are you feeling now?) . He dint say anything, Just smiled at me, and closed his eyes.
I was happy First time , he has responded well to medications. I told his mom that today, he opened his eyes and was trying to tell something, tears rolled out of her eyes. She said, " doctor sahab, aap jitna bhi kar rahe hain , uska aapko kaise shukriya karenge pata nai. aap to mere liye bhagwan hai" ( Doctor How much ever you are doing , i dont know how will i repay you, You are like a god to me) . That was really moving, i just calmly went and sat in my chair. First time i felt the will to live in Prashant. His smile spoke a thousand words, in a way telling me thank you for your help, I want to live now, I'l be alright in a few days.
Days passed by , his condition started improving. I made it a point to visit him everyday, even if i wasnt posted in ICU. One night i was strolling in the hospital corridor, i thought i would make a visit to ICU, i coudnt find him inside. As his condition was improving , they might have shifted him to the ward, So went to male ward coudnt find him there either. I thought wow, he has recovered very speedily, and even been discharged. I just happened to see the ICU nurse in the corridor, so i just enquired about prashant . What she said was a real shocker for me . Prashant died earlier night of cardiac arrest.
For a minute, i dint know what to do.. i never expected this. I was really shaken. I never knew that the 'Smile' meant Goodbye.....